Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
