would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
