ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
