We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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