I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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