Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
