can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
