I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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