why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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