Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
