Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
