dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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