You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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