i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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