Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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