my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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