a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
