So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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