He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
