We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
