you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
