i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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