ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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