They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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