Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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