last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did I show you my penis last night?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
