3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
