4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
