That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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