is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
