i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He did a backflip because drugs
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize