I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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