Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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