we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
