Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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