it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
