There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You made out with two different species that night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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