The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
