The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
