when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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