fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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