i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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