I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
