i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
