Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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