I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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