Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
