Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
