Can Purell be used as lube?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
