You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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