long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize