who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
