addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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