forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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