so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
